Niners of the 2000’s = Bengals of the 90’s
Browns. Texans. Packers. Lions. Buccaneers. Coming into the season, these are teams that we all would’ve agreed upon probably being worse than the 49ers. But right about now, at this juncture, on this particular Monday, I’d give anything to be in Cleveland swilling beer and singing Anderson’s praises. As fate would have it, I’m a 49er fan, I live in Cincinnati, and our organization is starting to remind me of something very familiar. Just stop for a minute, put last nights loss out of your mind, and close your eyes.
Imagine a team that has missed the playoffs for the majority of the decade in question so far. Imagine a team that has become so consistently terrible offensively that they’ve become the laughingstock of the division. Try and ponder, if you will, a team that finishes strong at the end of every one of those lost seasons, just when it doesn’t matter anymore, giving the fans just enough reason not to hang themselves in the ensuing eight month off-season.
Picture an organization that has a good offense and a bad defense one year, and a great defense with a flat offense the next, never quite able to get all of the pieces of the puzzle together at any one time. Think, if you will, of a team that, during home divisional games, has more opposing fans in the stands than of their own. Open your eyes. Who do you see, Akili Smith, or Alex Smith? Doesn’t matter, because they’re the same.
Don’t be mad. Don’t be angry that the team you have chosen to hook your wagon to, defend, bet your hard earned money on, whose merchandise you have spent countless hundreds of dollars on, and give your Sunday emotions to is the San Francisco Bengals. After all, even if your team lost you always have your millions of dollars, supermodel wives, and gargantuan mansions to go back to on Monday. Oh….wait….You don’t. So be pissed. And here’s whose fault it is.
Mike Nolan: 30% to blame. He is our coach, and he is the right head coach for this football team. But the number one kahuna will always have to bear the brunt of the blame, and I blame Mike Nolan because he is too slow to action. Look how long it took him to bench Kwame Harris. Look how long it has taken him to bench Derek Smith. Look at Taylor Jacobs still stinking up the field when Hill is chomping at the bit. He hired Hostler, and if history is any count, imagine how long he will take to fire him. Things will be a complete mess before they get better. In his defense, he had slim pickings to choose from when Norv bolted.
Hostler: 20% to blame. It was a sad day when Coach Walsh died, but I am glad he’s not around to see this abomination to San Francisco offense. He is absolutely the worst play caller the San Francisco 49ers have ever employed. Makes Mooch look like Mike Martz. He’s too conservative, too bland, too timid and afraid, and way too predictable. It’s almost as if every one of our opponents is playing with a Madden 08 scheme, and Hostler is using a playbook from Nintendo Tecmo Bowl. Whether he’s new or not, other teams have his number, and are going for his offensive jugular on every play. When I heard reports that Norv Turner had left a plan for the next OC to follow, I had hope. Hostler has managed to take that intricate, innovative plan, and draw little stick figures over it in red crayon. In four games, he has managed to embarrass Norv Turner and this organization with his sorry, antiquated, chickenshit excuse for an offense. Whether you believe it or not, Hostler is the root cause of our offensive woes.
The O-Line: 10% to blame. Several things come in to play here, and while I believe the O-line’s sudden performance meltdown is directly related to Norv Turner’s departure, I think it bears being broken down individually. Smiley gets consistently beat and should be relegated to a backup position. A backup position in Arena2. Even though Kwame Harris is benched, he deserves to die and be born that ugly and untalented again. Larry Allen is one french fry away from a massive on-field coronary and should have retired last year. His fatness-to-talent ratio disturbs me. Jonas Jennings is hurt more than Johnny Cash and Nine Inch Nails combined. Staley gets a pass for being a rook. Collectively, I wouldn’t have faith that these underachieving slobs could block a pre-eye operation Derek Smith if he was wearing stiletto heels and running uphill. And frankly, I’m afraid the collision of two such equally crappy forces would cause an eternal anti-gravitational pull which would end in the destruction of the universe.
Trent Dilfer: 1% to blame. He gets points because of the poor O-line performance. But his performance in week four is unacceptable. Maybe it’s time to fire Hostler and let Dilfer take over as OC/QB coach?
Alex Smith: 5% to blame. Again, points awarded for the poor O-Line performance, and his downgrade at coordinator, but he is really starting to try my patience. He’s the leader of this team and he has yet to step up and take any visible leadership. At least Akili Smith showed fire. Alex just stands there with that stupid open mouthed look of disdain. You know the one.
Receiving Ranks: 14% to blame. Granted, they haven’t had a ton of balls thrown at them accurately. But for god’s sake, shave your afro, pull your facemask down, and catch it when it comes. We need a true number one.
Frank Gore/Maurice Hicks: 10% to blame. For the love of sweet god, stop fumbling.
You, the fan: 10% to blame. It’s only 10%, but it’s a scathing 10%. Because of you, I almost hope that the team moves to Santa Clara and changes the team name to the Santa Clara 49ers. Maybe then my team could have a higher caliber of human being representing them at the games. You know, someone brought this out to me when I was already thinking it, so it’s worth mentioning. Most people don’t realize how much a fan can do to impact all the little occurrences that happen in a game. How many burned timeouts do you think the twelfth man in Seattle has to its credit? What about the dog pound in Cleveland or (and shame on you for making me say it) the black hole in Oakland? Lambeau Field, Minnesota, and Kansas City are three of the loudest venues to play in, and it has cost teams games to go there and deal with those fans. Yesterday was just like a home game for the Hawks.
Don’t get me totally wrong, the Niners have a small core of diehards that are just as passionate as the above, but by in large, San Francisco has one of the worst, least passionate, most plastic fan bases of all thirty two NFL teams. Next time you’re at a home game, look closely. It’s hard to determine who has more fans in the seats, and that’s a disgrace. This team doesn’t deserve to win, and neither does its fans.
About the Author: 27 From Cincinnati, Ohio
tim kawakami is an idiot...better that the report come from a more credible source. hey, i'll say it. fire the ...
It really is time to fire Nolan, there should be no question at all about that. 
As it stands right now, Nolan is a malignant tumor that is killing this franchise. The challenge fiasco says it ...
Manusky? hahah.. thats a fucking joke. Thats not upgrading at all. I say let Singletary be interim for this season ...
ninerfaithful4ever | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
i can not believe this stuff that im reading why are we so negitive we get some bumps and bruises and we are already comparing our selfs to the bangels of the 90s please now we are 2-2 and i think we will see some adjustments coming i also think we are still rebuilding and it will come together just have patience we are on the rise if we can stay healthy and i hope we can sneak a win next week but after the bye we will be healthy again just believe and have some patience nolan knows what he is doing just have faith thats why we are the 49er faithful
Bobby Boucher | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Ok,
What ever you say Mongoloid AKA Lonetexas49erFan
Bobby Boucher | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Alex Smith will be out 4-6 weeks is this true?
Jacob | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Did Alex smith have a tear or shoulder seperation?
Niner Pundit | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
http://49ersnews.com/grade-3-shoulder-seperation/
Whistling Mountain | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
ninerfaithful, I think we all have a right to be a little upset. This isn’t an up and down team and it’s not a team a couple plays away from 3-1 or 4-0, they’re a couple plays away from 0-4. The offense is steadily getting worse, not better. Being faithful doesn’t mean thinking your team is always going to win, it means showing up, staying with the team even though they’re sucking, which we all are ( as seen by all of our complaining about the product on the field )
I dunno, one of the major problems I’ve had with the rebuilding over the last few years was that offense was always a distant 2nd in the priorities. Now I know people like to say “defense wins championships” ( it doesn’t, a good overall team does ), and I know they like to say that at the end of the day a win is a win ( generally true )
What they don’t bring up is that most of the 49er fanbase became a fan of the 49ers because they were FUN to watch. I would say a vast majority of 49ers would much rather have a team that plays games in the 25-35 range than in the 7-17 range. Isn’t it sort of a kick in the face of the fanbase to do the opposite of what most people desire to see in their team.
In my personal opinion the 49ers should never have a non-offensive minded head coach at this point, and in best case scenario the head coach should be extremely hands on ( calling the plays ) with the offense to provide long term consistency.
Am I the only one that thinks Nolan is nothing more than a “management” head coach at this point, not really hands on with the offense or defense and thusly not very valuable? Seems like these kinds of coaches are a dime a dozen. Obviously better than a hack like Erickson, but no better than a no one like Mooch.
Even if be brings in good coordinators they’ll just be gone after a couple years. I really don’t see him creating great assistants like a Walsh, Belicek, or Parcells.
I’m sort of at a loss, I like Nolan, but I really don’t see him being a long term solution in SF.
Whistling Mountain | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
edit: A vast majority of 49er fans, sorry. Need edit feature =o)
Lowrance | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Whistling,
I agree with your first paragraph.
But I see the players Nolan has tried to slip into Erickson’s disaster as appearing very good on paper.
Defense has been horrible the last few years and he certainly addressed that. If we couldn’t stop anyone why losr games 55-45?
But we drafted Alex, and VD, and Staley all in the first round. Not to mention trying to grab some quality receivers to help replace the group that we had previously.
He dumped “Run up the back Barlow” and believed in Gore.
The Offensive line was a strength last year for Alex (Except Kwame) Allen and Jennings, when not injured, were high fiving each other after many of Frank’s runs.
But all of a sudden, I feel…. they aren’t playing to their potential. Which is MY personal source of frustration….
Niner Pundit | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Whistling…there is an edit feature however you need to be logged in to edit. Which you can register as a subscriber here with your name if you wish…
Whistling Mountain | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Lowrance - Yea I agree somewhat, I don’t think they’ve entirely left the offense by the wayside, but the team’s mentality was certainly changed to defense first, and told the offense to “not lose”, rather than win.
As much as some people here want norv back, I just don’t like the Norv offense, it needs an immense amount of talent to be consistently effective. Now they’re stuck in it with a less-than-norv OC and nowhere near the talent necessary to run it. It’s just not flexible… at all.
I’m very worried that they’re not going to be any good offensively for the entire year, but chances of Hostler being removed will be minimal, and we’ll have to put up with this through 2008 before they change the system, OC, and QB, and then we’ll have another down year due to system change.
Sorry, I’m in sky is falling mode still. =o)
Lowrance | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
“Sorry, I’m in sky is falling mode still. =o)”
lol, understandable after the game we all just witnessed!
mouse | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
My head was spinning until you said Jonas Jennings was hurt more than Johnny Cash and Nine Inch Nails combined. LMAO. I needed that thanks.
Ryan the 1st | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
I’m with Lowrance on this one…he has made the most sense. There is no reason to be thinking about giving Nolan the axe right now. Our offensive line needs to be adressed…period. It is the source of so many problems. Furthermore, we DO NEED to axe the offensive coordinator because he obviously doens’t know what he is doing. The thing that stinks is that Nolan WILL stick by him until the end of the season. Hopefully Norv will get fired and then come back.
Lowrance | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
San Diego last year….14-2
Under Norv….. 1-3
Lmao…that was my only enjoyment yesterday!
If Norv came back we’d need two OC’s. Norv from 20 yard line to 20 yard line. Then a red zone coordinator!!!
Ryan the 1st | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
I’m starting it now….BENCH SMILEY AND GIVE BAAS HIS DUE AND PROPER!!! Baas has sucked it up and now it is time for us to give him a shot and then sign Faneca. If we do this and get a lineman with our first pick then we should be ok.
http://www.mercurynews.com/49ersheadlines/ci_7051033?nclick_check=1
Ryan the 1st | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Baas has been quiet and never stirred up a fuss, but we have to give him a shot. There is a reason he was the first pick in the second round in the draft in 2005!!!
Lowrance | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Couldn’t hurt us any. If Baas can block the Ravens and give our quarterback time. Let him stay.
Sure would love to know who’s assignment it was to block when Alex got hurt. Center goes right and Allen goes left. Untouched rushing up the middle????? There’s a good plan…..
Sigh…we could go on and on….
AXEGRINDER | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Trent Dilfer will be our starting QB for the next 4-6 weeks.OUCH!!!! This guys worthless. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a quarterback with less mobility. No wonder the seahawks were blitzing every play, becuz they flat out knew they could get to him. Our O-line did more things to lose the game than I can remember. At least Alex could have avoided some of those rushes, but nooo, our sloppy o-line had to feed him to the dogs on the third play of the game! All the fumbles and INT’s made me sick.
And Hosler needs to quit crying and get something done fast. We need to go into this bye-week 3-2.
samra | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
hey lowerence if u look at that play u’ll see Heitman clearly being the one whos supposed to block Bernard however his dumbass goes and picks up a blitzing JP and leaves larry allen no one to block and bernard to run into the backfeild…
Lowrance | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Thanks Samra.
alex r | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
It sucks living in Houston and being around so many bandwagon cowboys fans. Even though our team is doing horrible I have to defend our struggling team against any cowboys fans, which is hard at times. My two brothers and I were watching the game yesterday and could not bear to watch the entire game. We turned it off about 7 minutes prior to it being over. But no matter what we must stay niners fans and not jump to any bandwagons
Ryan the 1st | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
If that’s true Samra then maybe I was wrong…maybe we need to start Baas at center and Snyder at right guard. I am sorry, but that is where most of our misery came from.
steve | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
huh? only 10% offensive line? are you watching the games
samra | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
actually larry allen needs to be benched too…he cost us several sacks as well and for a guy who can bench 300 he shouldnt have been punked like he was…also the guy who wrote this article is retarded…10% for the o-line more like 70% and mike nolan 20% for not fixing the line last week and 5% for bitches like kwame, ahmed plummer, mike rumph, raushawn woods, kevan barlow, justin smiley andre carter, julian Peterson, and Terrel Owens for being the biggest bust/traitors and 5% for eddie debartello for fucking up and getting the givin to the yorks
samra | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
***correction
getting the team givin to the yorks
razoreater | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
IMHO i would get rid of nolan-his mistakes are too numerous to list-as far as the o line i have said since the rams game it should be
Staley>left tackle\
Harris>left guard/
Baas>center/
Snyder>right guard/
Jennings>right tackle
razoreater | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
good point debartolo is to blame for the situation we find our beloved franchise in
Ninaz | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
We could have been 4-0 if we had Norv Turner but the dumb fuck had to go with San Diego and screw up their season and ours for not being here. SHITTTT!!!!!! norv please get fired this offseason and come back to us. Trent Dilfer has got to step up to win vs baltimore, we can beat them cuz our D can hold but our offense sucks. Its funny how last year the offense was the strong point and our D sucked and now our offense sucks and our D kicks ass!!! Football gods carry us to victory “that means you Bill Walsh” help us out.
NinersRule | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Anyone notice that Larry Allen has a “tell” as far as what kind of play we are running? Check it out because this is the forth game I’ve noticed it in. It happens when he starts to get winded. If its a run play, he puts his mouth piece in, if its a pass he leaves it out. Watch closely, I was calling out what we were going to do just by watching him. I was curious if any of you noticed this as well?
Arock49 | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Anyone who thinks Nolan is a problem needs to be shot and dumped over at the Alameda County Stadium and let the Raider fags finnish you off!!!! Maybe a little too harsh, but really you dont think he is the answer? Come on now, you people need not to forget who Nolan hired last year to take over the offensive duties… Norv Turner…… How can you blame Mike Nolan for our offensive struggles when Norv “Fuck” Turner accepted the keys to a Ferrari and crashed it into a telephone pole, or was that Lance Briggs? (maybe Norv was driving that night) In any case who was he supposed to replace him with? Not to mention if he didnt go “in house” Alex would have had his 4th offensive scheme in as many years…. Be realistic faithfull and get back on the boat, Ill personally throw you a life jacket. Nolan has done miracles to this team, our Defense is awsome really, there just out there too fucking long… Lets see what happens over the next couple of games for some adjustments, Nolan is not a dumb man and he has some balls, dont forget that. He is not afraid to make some moves when needed. Now all you cry babies go grab your purses and put your cheerleading outfits on, get in your car and get your asses out to Bill Walsh field this Sunday and get behind your FUCKING TEAM WHEN THEY NEED YOU MOST!!!!!
Niner Pundit | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Samra…you mention 5% for these players:
5% for bitches like kwame, ahmed plummer, mike rumph, raushawn woods, kevan barlow, justin smiley andre carter, julian Peterson, and Terrel Owens for being the biggest bust/traitors
Why don’t you just give the 5% to Donahue. Also you can’t fault Peterson or Owens. Both wanted to stay, but Donahue didn’t try and keep Owens and the same went with Nolan on Peterson. Nolan said if he were here a year or two sooner, he would have locked up Peterson. But overall you gotta blame Donahue for drafting those pieces of shits.
AXEGRINDER | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
Donahue did the best he could to ruin this franchise. Getting rid of that dirtbag and hiring Nolan was the best thing thats happened to the niners in the last decade. Give him a chance to do what needs to be done. Im pissed at the lack of production like everyone else, but Im not going to hang Nolan for it. He will right the ship.
astronomicat | Oct 1, 2007 | Reply
i was about defend us against matt’s 10% blame but after reading most of these posts and the lack of knowledge of our fan base is to fucking staggering to mention. (even though i just did.) as a 9er fan ( if you truly are a 9er fan) at least know your own team. (i.e. names, positions, who the fuck was on the field during a certain play)…oh yeah, watch the whole fucking game no matter how atrocious we are, not just when we are doing good…you fair weather nancys.
p.s. if you’re bothered by my comments instead of shaking your head agreeably this was about you… and if you’re pist fuck that whore of a mother who bore you and, don’t where our red and gold.
mexican9er | Oct 2, 2007 | Reply
The solution is easy. Bench the lineman. Fire Hostler and get Robinson as a QB, dont make another mistake starting Dilfer or Hill please.
Medford | Oct 2, 2007 | Reply
Hopefully any of u guys read this but anyways on Sunday when Alex Smith went down I actually had a tear in my eye cause I knew what we had on r bench and all my fears came true Dilfer is a good guy but his days as a qb r over im sorry I would love him to stay on as a niner coach somewhere assistant to the qb coach or something. I mean him as r backup qb really is hurting r team look at the Eagles last year Mcnabb goes down and they bring in Garcia. I think I made my point with Dilfer we will not win a game with him as r qb thats a fact.
Second point Julian Peterson I lost alot of respect for u on Sunday also u had no right disrespecting the bay area fans everyone of us wanted u back also the 49ers as a team kept u how many years and paid u for wearing a suite on the sidelines if I remember corectly well I guess u showed ur true colors on sunday but a word of advise Julian IT DOESNT MAKE U A GREAT LINEBACKER CAUSE U SACKED TRENT DILFER I THINK EVEN A POODLE COULD DO THAT.
Third point Frank Gore I have no bad things to say about u the only thing is hold on to the ball.
Fourth Point can the play calling stop be so predictable please same play IF ITS 3RD AND LONGER THAN 5 YARD WE RUN A SCREEN PASS its not very creative the 20th time u run it.
SPEEDY RECOVERY ALEX SMITH HOPEFULLY ALL THE PEOPLE ON THIS WEBSITE THAT BASHED U REALIZE HOW A GAME LOOKS IF UR NOT IN IT
P.S. THANKS DEREK SMITH ANOTHER PLAY U COULDNT MAKE THE INT HIT U IN THE WRONG PLACE UR HANDS I FORGOT.
Goldrusher49 | Oct 2, 2007 | Reply
I know that I have made some comments the past couple of days regarding how bad our team looks right now, but to day I woke up , looked at the comments being posted and have to say something. WE WILL BEAT THE RAVENS ON SUNDAY AND DILFER WILL START AND DILFER WILL HAVE A GREAT GAME. I’m calling in sick to work so I can watch the game here in VA and I’m going to be the only 49ers fan in the whole bar as usual and I’m gonna make more noise than everyone in there put together. I don’t care anymore about the shit talking, I can’t do it anymore. I love this team more than anything in the world. This team is the only consistent thing I’ve had since I was a child and up until only recently they have been letting me down. Let’s all remember that this team came out of nowhere and took down the cowboys who at the time where the best in the league. We started as an underdog team and became a little greedy as fans because of the greatness this franchise showed to the world. We dominated when we where supposed to lose and won 5 championships quicker than any other franchise ever has and ever will! So basically what I’m saying is that this sunday I’m gonna go watch this team kick baltimore’s ass and I’m gonna stop complaining. Faithful is believing! I BELIEVE WE WILL KICK THE SHIT OUT OF BALTIMORE! When the game is over if we win by 50 or 1 I’m gonna celebrate the same and if for some reason we happen to lose (which we won’t) I’m gonna do it again the next game we play. I don’t give a fuck if this team doesn’t win a game ever again, I’m gonna celebrate every game like it’s the superbowl. IF you’re a real 49ers fan, SHOW IT!
Niner Pundit | Oct 2, 2007 | Reply
Goldrusher I agree…they will beat the crap out of the Ravens. I go into every game thinking they could win. I was that way with Dorsey at QB. Of course I’m wrong more than right, but still I always have that faith.
razoreater | Oct 2, 2007 | Reply
when he hired (nolan) norv turner he knew the possibility was there for him leaving for a head coach job-nolan should have had a back up plan which he clearly did not- for that mistake we had to settle for what was left after the dust cleared-he gambled our #1 pick away betting we’d be good and indy would not-and his draft picks are not that great nor are his loyalties which are often detrimental to team performance-look at smith(lb)he should be gone,jennings moved,heitman benched in place of baas,allen benched for harris,smiley benched for snyder
samra | Oct 2, 2007 | Reply
hey niner pundcit i see what u mean but all these players had potential but they never lived up to it i mean what if lloyd and battle had done the same? they reached their potential with us and were donahue picks… i know that lloyd didnt do much but all he was was a slot receiver and owens and peterson were added because of the way the acted when they left…i remember petersons mom sayin shit like JP’s havin a party because he’s finally on a good team…and owens well he was acting that way when he was still with us…
Nick Newton | Oct 2, 2007 | Reply
Samra, thanks for the feedback on the article, though I have to say that I stick by my remarks. 10% blame for the line and 30% for Mike Nolan simply because he has the power to change it and possibly save our season. But he wont, so he deserves more blame. Last years team> this years team. Astrominicat, I wrote this article, not Matt. -Nick Newton
samra | Oct 2, 2007 | Reply
hey Nick Newton no offense to u man with what i said i didnt mean it personally but im just pissed and u comparing us to the bengals didnt make it any better…
Adam | Oct 2, 2007 | Reply
Well we got B.Gilmore back just like had hoped. I don’t know why we got rid of him in the first place. And medfrd I agree with you about A.Smith. All you morons that jumped ship on Smith and were saying that we should bench him for T.Dilfer are eating crow right about now. I don’t know about anybody else but I feel a hell of a lot more comfortable with him in the game than out. I have alot of faith in Alex. Idon’t have faith in our recievers and ou r line. Hurry up Alex get healthy and get your ass back in the game.
McLovin | Oct 2, 2007 | Reply
WTF!!!!I have to put up with Notre Dame and the Niners losing this year.
Nick newton | Oct 4, 2007 | Reply
Samra. No problem. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, and you will never be criticized for voicing yours. Thanks for reading. -Nick Newton
faccipazzo | Apr 16, 2008 | Reply
Well, it’s my wish that all of you will stop your 9er sniveling about 2007. Old things pass away [D.Smith, Smiley, K.Harris, etc.], some things become new [J.Smith, D.Foster, new additions] The new season, a healthy squad, with the draft coming up. Everyone thinks that the 9ers are an low rung team, well we are two lineman, and some receiver continuity away from going back to the playoffs. Alex Smith is going to learn under Martz, how to become a rythmn passing QB. He was getting killed, waiting, for a bunch of underachievers, who couldn’t seperate, try to get open, thus making the offensive line look incompetent. Has anyone thought that the trouble with the OL, might be Eric Heitmann calling the blocking assignments?? STAY POSITIVE!!!! GO 2008.